I am not impressed by the raptures of homecoming travellers when they single out the white cliffs, the comfortable slopes of the Downs, the dazzling scribble of buttercups and daisies outside the train windows; for when I have been some time away from England, then even what I usually dislike here can bring me a flash of delight. I welcome with joy the glum railway sidings, the platforms that exist in a perpetual November, the ‘Daily Piffler’ and the ‘Weekly Blatherer’ on the bookstalls, the mournful muck of the refreshment room, the gimcrack bungalows, the little towns that have never once been gay and gaudy, the hoardings given up to second-rate musical comedies, the vast gloom and decay of London. What a civilisation! What a mess! What a country! But I’m home…I’m home….